[attr="class","btext"]Okay, you feel a little bit bad. It wasn’t supposed to come out so harsh, you love Jyushi. He gives you the blankest stare you’ve ever seen from him and wanders off to be what his idea of ‘useful’ is and you bury your face in your hands. Everything is so messed up and you hate it when he talks about your parents like everything is fucking A-okay!


You throw the broom onto the ground before huddling into the corner with an exhale. You’re the worst. You said it. You said it to Jyushi. Why did you say that? Are you stupid? Your words echo over and over and you no matter how badly you wanna, you can’t grab them and take them back.

They’re dead.

Anxieties are through the roof whenever the oldest pair of you decide to leave. They’re really strong in a way, but they’re also really reckless and if the two of them didn’t come home soon, the tears were going to start. You can’t handle not having the six of you in the same place. Honestly? It’s fucking stupid. There’s no reason that the six of you need to split up.

“More efficient.” You say in a nasally mocking voice. What the fuck? You’d rather go out and do your best with everyone together then sit in one place until someone doesn’t come back.

You peek into the bedroom at Ichi in the corner and hover over him before leaning down and wrapping your arms around the mushy purple mass. You bury your face into his back and try to block out everything else that’s going on. The walking corpses, your missing brothers, your fuck up, the junk piling up…

“Ichi...can we talk like before? Like everything’s normal?” You mumble into his back, hoping that he’ll understand. You press yourself against him warmth for comfort and tug on him a little to make sure he’s awake.

“About anything…”

and i'm sad to the core,
every day
is a chore,  
i wanna be adored